Friday, July 27, 2007

Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Joel McHale-- Soup clips. Part 1, producer Gary Marshall (Laverne & Shirley and everything else) calls in during Part 2, Part 3.
[2] Motorin' FM-- The ACS transforms into a hardcore Morning Zoo for a segment. This Dusty Wheeler dude is no Dick Gobbler.
[3] SuperLesbo-- Adam recalls when he met the ultimate dyke.
[4] The Scarborough Contender-- Adam talks about all the other shows he did yesterday. The opening segment.
[5] Maria Menounos-- Hottie from those entertainment news shows stops by.
[6] Phone Screener Search Highlights

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Angel Adam, Devil Danny-- Adam loses his halo mid-way through the second call. Dannyhater John returns again for call #3.
[2] To Catch A Predator Recap-- Parts 1 and 2.
[3] Pass Those Genes-- Are you going to try and steer your kid down a path that YOU believe is right for them right off the bat, or let them find their own way first?
[4] Sonny's Need For Speed-- Adam suspects his boy has inherited his thrillseeking gene. Now he's preferring he'll be a nerd.
[5] The Grim Creeper-- Supposedly there's a black cat at this nursing home that senses when one of the residents is about to die. A doctor that works there calls in, and Adam celebrates one of the true heroes.
[6] Kenny Mane-- Sportcenter anchor gives his view on Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, etc.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Quote Of The Day
Right at the beginning of the first news segment: enough with the complaining about the high price of Starbucks coffee already.


Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Perfume Clouds-- Adam finds himself in an even more dense cloud than usual of Danny's body spray.
[2] Prove Your Love-- Callers call in to share what lengths they have gone to capture someone else's affections.
[3] "MIJO!!!!"-- Former Man Show writer Adam DeLaPena stops by, and the ultimate journey into Mijoland begins.
[3] Danny's New Tattoo-- Adam thinks that if tattoos didn't hurt as much, LESS people would have them.
[4] Adam On Homeland Security-- A rant about recent news reports.
[5] Rich Man, Poor Man
[6] Ray-enactment-- Since they're always pressed for time after Ozzie's movie reviews, they've given Ray's buffoon high school stories their own segment.
[7] Mary Ann Norbom-- Editor of OK magazine calls in to talk about the photo session with Britney Spears that went awry.
[8] Tony The Black Guy At The Harry Potter Release-- I dig Tony, but not good this time around.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Quote Of The Day
Adam began the show talking about the spider problems at his house, and how people don't seem to know how to get rid of them like other bugs. He said he's also been told they're the GOOD insects, because they eat the others. Danny wondered what the heck is a "good" insect if it's shacking up with you uninvited as well. Adam agreed.

"And it's like you saying, 'Oh you got to have some Crips around your house because they'll get rid of the Bloods.'"


Today's Selected Audio:
[1] What Can't Adam Complain About?-- Meg Tilly hottie lookalike Melissa gets a tryout on the phones during the segment, leading to one heck of a cluster F.
[2] Ron The Veteran-- Last year Ron won the trip to the Bunny Ranch before shipping out to Iraq. He's back now, and severely injured.
[3] Spiderant-- Hear it in its entirety.
[4] Return Of The Spazz-- During yet another discussion of chicken S tickets, the Danny hater from last week breaks through again, this time under the guise of a cop.
[5] Oh Danny Boy-- Callers call in to say whether they love or hate Bonaduce.
[6] Melissa The Possible Phone Screener
[7] The Bangles-- come in to promote their new DVD.
[8] Janice Dickinson-- The devil herself is interviewed during a segment with gossip queens Lynn and Alex.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Quote Of The Day
As Teresa rattled off singer Mindy McCready's criminal charges during the second news segment, a tune of hers played in the backround. Adam had his own favorite.

"I like the B-side to this one, 'I Put The C--- In Country'...Would somebody please write that song, that would be a GREAT country song."

Whoever does, enjoy your Grammy.

Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Gay But Not To Stay-- Callers call in to share the gayest thing they have ever done. Adam opens the segment talking about the waxing and facial he had last week. Yeah, it's over.
[2] Teresa Meets The Parents-- Her knight in shining armor's parents flew in this weekend just to meet her. Would they accept a non-Gentile?
[3] Why Californians Can't Drive-- Opening of the show; Danny is missing.
[4] Shirley Phelps-- Everyone's favorite twisted religious zealot takes time out from protesting soldier funerals to check in and deliver her opinons about Sandler's Chuck And Larry movie and Harry Potter.
[5] Teddy The Phone Screener-- Intern Teddy is filling in as phone screener. He's not as creepy as he used to be.
[6] Music Monday-- Great and awful songs performed by girl bands. Parts 1, 2, and 3.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Quote Of The Day
Adam Sandler called in during the 7 o' clock hour. Adam (Carolla) had forgotten, but Sandler was a celebrity judge for the radio boxing fight that was Carolla's big break (training Jimmy Kimmel).

Adam Sandler: I was so excited to do that, you don't know how quickly I'd say no to that now.
Adam Carolla: Oh my God...you wouldn't even say no, your publicist would wipe his ass with the request and send it back.


Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Joel McHale's Soup Clips-- Parts 1 and 2.
[2] Adam Sandler
[3] Only One Same-Named City Can Survive-- Adam's got a good idea for a pay per view event that will eliminate some geographical confusion.
[4] Bye Kyle-- It's Kyle the phone screener's last day, everybody says goodbye.
[5] Taylor Hicks-- At the very end of this uberlong segment. Before that, more phone screener auditions. Where a spazzy Danny hater sneaks through. On Kyle's last day. Hmm.
[6] Deaf Frat Guy
[7] Name That Tune-- Ozzy sings Grateful Dead tunes in his special style for fans to win tickets to see Ratdog.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Quote Of The Day
Actually it's a quote from yesterday that I would've used hadn't I forgot about it, but he repeated it on today's show as well, so.

After interviewing To Catch A Predator host Chris Hansen, Adam revealed how he avoids being caught on the show when he's out hunting for young, young stuff.

"Before I go into any house when I meet any chick on the internet, I do this ploy now, I probably shouldn't talk about it... I do a little thing called Candy-Gram For Chris Hansen. I send a guy to the house ten minutes before I get there... and when I see him come to the door and sign for it, I just keep driving."


Today's Selected Audio:
[1] News Segment 1-- Contains probably the most complete version I've heard of one of Adam's favorite rant topics.
[2] To Catch A Predator Recap-- A breakdown of last night's episode, with Norm McDonald. He's pro-predator.
[3] Norm MacDonald-- Parts 1 and 2.
[4] Stalker Natalie's Tattoo-- Adam's stalker wants to get his autograph tattooed on her stomach. Parts 1 and 2.
[5] Ron Jeremy And Dennis Hoff-- Stop by to promote their show about a whorehouse.
[6] John Leguizamo-- Calls to talk about his new series on Spike, Kill Point.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Will Angie Eat It?-- Everybody wagers on what super finnicky producer Angie will eat or not.
[2] Fun With Huell Houser-- Huell visits a pier.
[3] Patton Oswalt-- Super mega movie star of Ratatouille visits. Parts 1 and 2, and he sticks around for the second news segment.
[4] Head-- Korn's old guitar player Brian "Head" Welch who quit the band because he found Jesus stops by to promote his new book.
[5] Chris Hansen-- To Catch A Predator's host phones in.
[6] Win Kyle The Phone Screener's Job-- More callers to interview to try and win the sacret seat.
[7] Adam's Rants-- About the terrorists. He wants more No S Sherlock advice from the news on the subject.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Quote Of The Day
"I could never figure out that, it was all over the 70s, where people were eating dog food. Danny and I remember the sitcoms back in the day where it was like someone was eating cat food or dog food... and they were like REAL stories, 'THIS ELDERLY WOMAN WAS FORCED TO EAT DOG FOOD BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY...' And even though I was nine I realized a can of Van de Kamps hash was 59 cents, and a can of cat food was 59 cents, and a can of tuna was 59 cents and I thought why are you buying the cat food when you could buy the tuna, the top ramen, or the Van De Kamps hash for the same price?"

C'mon Carolla. Because if people see you eating dog food that's when the donations really start to flow. Especially if you've invited them over for lunch.


Today's Selected Audio:
[1] A Bitch's Bitch-- Adam recounts when he was once beaten up by a chick.
[2] CatFight Club-- Callers call in to tell their personal catfighting stories. Oh the humanity.
[3] News Segment 1
[4] Win Kyle's Job-- Kyle the phone screener is leaving to go to work for Kimmel, so auditons to fill his seat where held on the air. More quality time with the public.
[5] A Public Service Announcements About Public Service Announcements-- Adam rants.
[6] Cry, Cry, Cry Again-- Adam's spawn was wailing like a banshee this morning as he was getting ready for work. Topper Danny talks about he made all three chicks in his life cry yesterday.
[7] Gay Walking With Pre Op Board Op Bill
[8] Kevin James-- The King Of Queens star calls in to promote his new movie with Adam Sandler, I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Quote Of The Day
During the early morning there was a bit of talk of Danny possibly being the superhero Bonerman, because he had had sex with his girlfriend six times in two days or so.

Adam: By the way, Bonerman's cape is a dental dam.


Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Don't Mess With Mom-- Bonaduce's ridiculous romanticism brings him right into claw's reach of his girlfriend's mother, who is none too pleased about all the drama that occurred in Maui. A confrontation that sounded like it should be on one of those nature shows.
[2] Meeting The Parents-- Callers call in to share horror stories of trying to coexist with their significant other's parents who hate their guts.
[3] What Will Change The World-- Adam's early morning blah blah blah. Readjusting the car seat pain and his realizing that taking care of kids is hell.
[4] Robert Wuhl-- Arliss comes in to chat about his new show. Parts 1 and 2.
[5] Music Monday-- Great songs with bad lyrics. Parts 1 and 2.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Adam Rants-- Meter maids must die.
[2] News Segment 1-- Curious discussion of oral and gayness, just like Conkrite used to do every night.
[3] Bobbi Billard-- While this interview with the 34DDD Myspace chick with over a million friends is obviously an intellectual tour de force, it's Teresa's Worst News Story Ever holdover from the previous segment that makes it listenable.
[4] Healthy?-- While waiting for Michael Moore to phone in health care is discussed.
[5] Small Things That Won't Make You So Freakin Large-- Adam opens the show by stealing and sharing some of my diet tips.
[6] Joel McHale-- Soup Clips, Parts 1 and 2.
[7] Tracy Morgan-- Makes David Alan Grier seem sedated. Still wearing his government-enforced anklet, so the spazzing is 100% alcohol-free. Parts 1, 2 (News Segment) and 3.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Quote Of The Day
"Michael McDonald is one of these guys where he could shave his beard, cut his hair, and start a new life anytime he wants. Right now he walks in with the beard and the long silvery hair and everybody goes, 'Hey, Doobie Brother, you got a doobie for me??' The day he gets tired of being Michael McDonald, all he needs to do is shave and I don't think his wife would recognize him... He and the guys from ZZ Top could just go to the barber and then walk the streets with impunity, they'll never be stopped again."

Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Angel Adam, Devil Danny-- The devil rather disappoints this time around, but Adam delivers a gem around the ten minute mark.
[2] Larry Miller-- The thinking man's comedian stops by. Hmm, I never knew he was almost George Costanza. In Part 3 he finds himself in the middle of an old dusted off bit called Hypothetical Questions. Oh, here's Part 2.
[3] Billy West-- Part 2 was my favorite. Adam bet listeners that called in with any of their impressions that they would be topped by the voicemaster. Quite a feat if he could do that, hmm? And here's Part 1.
[4] Hair Raising Radio-- Bald Brian's young bald guy pain. Adam's brillo-headed youth pain.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Quote Of The Day
At the end of the opening segment Teresa said that after her black stepfather died, when her family received his death certificate that his race had been misidentified on it as white.

Adam: Maybe they were just trying to get him into heaven...

Sharpton Alert!


Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Ken Burns-- In depth chat about his new documentary on PBS about World War II. Parts 1, 2, 3, and 4. Listen to it all or you're a traitor.
[2] David Alan Grier-- Sometimes I can't stand the man, sometimes I love him. Today was a good day. Parts 1, 2, and 3 (News Segment).
[3] Taming Adam's Fat Ass-- Adam's trying to slim down and his wife could care less.
[4] Peter King-- Host of Inside The NFL calls in to talk football and why there is no team in Southern California yet.
[5] Let's Go To Work!-- Why Adam was pumped about today's show.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Quote Of The Day
For the first news segment Teresa related how Sprint was "firing" a batch of their customers because they're more trouble than they're worth, because they're always on the customer service line complaining about something. Adam hoped that when all those people read that sianora letter in the mail that they would wonder who else in their life may possibly feel the same.

"Other people think about a utopia... 'Hey, I'm gonna create a Disney-esque village that's free of crime, where the streets are always clean...' I don't think that way. I think of a neighborhood where all the pains in the asses that have lived around me over the years are forced to live next to each other and destroy each other. I want the C who lived next to me in my first house to move next to the D that currently lives next to me...find out what it's like to live next to YOU."


Today's Selected Audio:
[1] What Can't Adam Complain About-- The ultimate Sprint customer reenters the dojo to fend off more callers' attempts to stump Adam's almighty whining. When his kids finally scream themselves out and take a nap? Butterflies? Opposable thumbs? Amateurs.
[2] Bed Wetters-- Adam and Teresa talk about times they've stayed over at boyfriend/girlfriend's places and...accidentally wet the bed? Yeah, you'd think alcohol would be involved...
[3] Kevin Pereira!-- Oh how I've missed the G4 channel ever since it was yanked out of my cable a few months ago. The host of Attack Of The Show comes in to talk about the iPhone, other technological doodads, and E3. Great, but why couldn't he have brought along Olivia Munn? Parts 1 and 2.
[4] Richard Rawlings-- Cannonball Run record holder stops by to talk about how he went from the Atlantic to the Pacific in just under 32 hours. Parts 1 and 2.
[5] Kari Kimmel and Tamara Witmer of the LA Motorcycle Show-- Godawful interview about motorcycles with two chicks who know nothing about motorcycles.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Today's Selected Audio:
[1] Vacation Recap-- Woohoo, some new Adam ranting after a week of leftovers.
[2] Danny's Maui Disaster-- How Danny started drinking again.
[3] Listeners' Horrendous Vacation Stories
[4] Nerd Walking With Sound Effect Guy Brian-- Do nerds know what the average man knows?
[5] Ozzie And Ray Review Transformers
[6] Music Monday-- Best and worst songs you can't get out of your head. Parts 1, 2, and 3.