Howard K. Stern vs. Larry Berkhead, No Holds Barred
As things kicked off Adam read off today's guest list: Ultimate Fighting Champion "Ice Man" Chuck Widdell, and the kid from Webster, the fully grown yet still midget-like Emmanuel Lewis. In a joke referring to his upcoming fight with 65 year old Robert Shapiro, Danny announced he was also going to take on Emmanuel in the Octagon.

A vision came to me, the next Big Idea for reality tv: Celebrity Ultimate Fighting.

Adam: Emmanuel's not here yet... oh he is here?
Danny: He just walked under the window, right there.
Teresa(disappointedly): Danny...
Adam: Well hold on a second, let's be fair... Danny doesn't get to make a whole lot of short jokes that don't have him as the punchline.


Guest: Emmanuel Lewis
While discussing greedy child star parentals--
Teresa: Emmanuel, you're still on good terms with your parents?
Emmanuel: Absolutely...(laughs) You say that as if you're not supposed to be on good terms...
Danny: We're supposed to be, but nobody is. Adam's were lazy, Mine beat me, Teresa's abandoned her...
Adam: To be fair to my parents, I'd like to think they would've beaten me if they weren't so apathetic about their kids. I think my dad would make the announcement once or twice a week, "I'M GONNA BEAT THE... eghhhhhhh...let's watch the rest of Maude."

As always Emmanuel furiously denied Michael Jackson attempted anything weird with him when they were close pals in the 80s.

Adam: Jimmy Kimmel told me he confronted his priest growing up... angry that he WASN'T molested. He wanted to know why... "Am I not hot enough???" "Am I not cute enough???"

He suggested Emmanuel do the same with Michael, you know, for closure's sake.


Side "Jobs"
News segment 1, the Alec Baldwin debacle was T's first story --

Teresa: Now Dr. Phil has commented, and he seems to be blaming...
Adam: That's my porn name by the way. I spell it differently.


More News Porn
In the second news segment of the day Teresa brought up an article about the most popular surnames in the world. The crew tried to guess #1 and kicked themselves when it was revealed: Wang. Looks like everyone's getting their morning shock jock licenses revoked.

Teresa: 93 million Wangs.
Adam: I rented that movie this weekend.

Nice save.

Show Clips: Hey, it's a Bonaduce haters' dream-- pictures of him getting punched in the head by Chuck Liddel!